Tuesday, March 24, 2015

A Strange Find (March 22nd - March 23rd)

One thing I forgot to mention in my last post is that as I was riding from Liberty to Homestead, I passed through a town called McKeesport. As I headed through that town, I noticed a BP. At first I passed it and went to Subway for lunch, but I later walked back to use the restroom because the one at Subway was out of order. I also wanted to grab a frappuccino and some snacks, as I am wont to do. On the ground, I found a Microsoft Surface, and when I turned it on to try to figure out a way to reach the owner, I found these strange ramblings:

05:30 the sun rises on McKeesport in one hour.  shortly after, i shall strike.  my juice squeezer is almost out, i could use a refill, but to risk being spotted at the BP by the target is too high to risk it.   plus, i have to mud up.
05:45 sufficiently mudded.  laying prone in the brush approx. 2000m from the BP.   completely indiscernible from the nature around me.   the target will never know what hit him.
06:30 i have finished my prayer nap cardio circuit.  soon i will finish my juice squeezer.  it looks like it may rain after all.  i was a fool to balk at a 15% forecast.  my contingency for this is shoddy, at best.  i will pray again that it will not rain.
06:42 it is pouring.  i have crawled under the cover of a hollowed out Japanese Zelkova trunk and am writing this from there.  Fortunately, i have upgraded my tablet to a Microsoft Surface and can withstand the elements.  I do not regret it.  Unfortunately, it seems the rain has shattered my primary directive, and I must approach the target head on in plain daylight.  except, not really daylight because it will still be raining.  so.  so the mud has washed off and i won't get to surprise him like i thought i would but I'll still be somewhat shrouded by weather.  i must defecate.
06:49 another curveball.  it seems my juice squeezer must have taken on contaminates.  i know it wasn't the wheel bug i ate for breakfast because i have hunted those before and i would not make a mistake there.   just experienced a menacing case of diarrhea.  praying it will not come back.
06:57 i can't stop shitting and crying in the rain i have never cried from this before but i feel like i am being split open from the inside and the target should be rounding the bend any moment.  the target.  refocus on the mission.  i must not fail.  i pray with all my strength that he is late, like always.  always fucking late.  god this fucking saoijdijdajioiasd
07:13 okay........it is with great remorse and exhaustion that i report the mission a failure.  like the old Nixon / Kennedy debates of '47, I had hoped this would have been another legendary McKeesport battle, but unfortunately, i was incapacitated at the time of the targets' arrival.  granted, target Stephen Garvey was late, even later than usual, but he DID NOT stop at the BP for a bottle frappucinno, some skittles, and a handful of Slim Jims, AS I WAS INFORMED HE IS WONT TO DO, but no, NO -- even though he was LATE, he did not EVEN STOP AT THE BP.  HE JUST CRUISED BY ON THAT STUPID VILANO WHILE I WAS, AGAIN, LOSING ALL BOWEL CONTROL IN THE BRUSH BY THE HIGHWAY.  ALSO SOMEBODY DROVE UP AND HONKED AT ME AND DISTRACTED ME RIGHT AS HE WAS COMING, AND I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO RESPOND SO I JUST FROZE AND HOPED SOME OF THE MUD STILL CONCEALED ME ENOUGH TO CONVINCE THE DRIVER THEY WERE HALLUCINATING.  ANYWAY FUCK THE MISSION, FUCK THIS WEATHER, AND FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING MICROSOFT SURFACE SONOFAJD OSDOASDIJASDIOJDOAIJDIOADJSADIOJDIOSJ

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I guess I'm starting to gain some new fans on the road.

Wheel Bug
Real life: March 22nd - 0 miles, March 23rd - 10.5 miles. Total annual mileage: 777.5 miles (39.2 miles behind target pace).

Notes: Thank you to Ben Kirberger for a borderline insane guest entry on the blog. Again, if you are interested in writing a guest entry, please feel free to email me at stephen.c.garvey.82@gmail.com.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Through Pittsburgh (March 11th - March 21st)

March 11th - Rode 12.4 miles to Liberty, PA.

March 12th - Rode 10.4 miles to Homestead, PA (location of the Homestead Strike of 1892).

Homestead Strike

March 13th - Rode 12 miles to McKees Rocks, PA (former home of Mann's Hotel, where George Washington possibly stayed a night and former home of Billy Mays). I passed through the south side of Pittsburgh, PA, so I checked out East Carson St.

Mann's Hotel before demolition

March 14th - Rode 17.8 miles to Aliquippa, PA (where Mike Ditka went to high school).

March 15th - Rode 9.3 miles to Beaver Falls, PA (setting of TV show 'Mr. Belvedere').

Mr. Belvedere

March 16th - Rode 12.9 miles to East Palestine, OH (making Ohio the 5th state of my trip).

March 17th - Rode 7.5 miles to Columbiana, OH (home of the Shaker Woods Crafter Festival).

Shaker Woods Festival

March 18th - Rode 10.4 miles to Canfield, OH (82nd best place to live in the US, according to Money Magazine).

Canfield Green in Canfield, OH

March 19th - Rode 11.1 miles to Berlin Center, OH.

March 20th - Rode 6.4 miles to Diamond, OH.

March 21st - Rode 33 miles to Peninsula, OH.

E - Liberty, PA
F - Diamond, OH
G - Peninsula, OH

Real Life: The highlight of this last week and a half was the 33 miles of riding on March 21st. It was a nice little Saturday in Chicago, so Mo and I rode up to Evanston with some friends for lunch and then rode around the city a bit as well.  Total annual mileage: 767 miles (29.8 miles behind target pace).

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

A Great Deal of Rich Meadow (February 27th - March 10th)

I spent the night of the 27th in Black, PA. When I first googled the name of the town, nothing came up. This struck me as odd since Google's own Google Maps was the thing that was telling me I was in Black. In any case, I eventually found some information on the town. Did you know that Black, PA is 0.02% water? You do now.

E- Black, PA
F - Fort Hill, PA

The next two nights were spent just 1.3 miles away in Fort Hill, PA. Fort Hill is home to the Deer Valley YMCA Family Camp at base of Mount Davis. Mount Davis is actually the highest point in the entire state of Pennsylvania at 3,213 feet.

I then spent the next six nights in Confluence, PA. I haven't mentioned it up to this point, but since I passed through Cumberland, MD (63.4 miles ago), I've been riding on the Great Allegheny Passage bike trail. This trail is part of a 335-mile continuous non-motorized corridor from near Washington, DC to near Pittsburgh. It's not always the most direct route, but it is a godsend for someone attempting to (imaginarily) ride a bike across the country. Aside from being a stop on the trail, Confluence is also home to some of the best whitewater in the country. I have a cousin who is a avid whitewater kayaker, so he should definitely check it out. Most of the nights that I spent in Confluence included a stop at Sherman's Ice Cream Parlor & Kitchen. I didn't just eat ice cream. They also have delicious burgers as well.

My arteries were happy that I moved on to Connellsville, PA. When I arrived, I was intrigued to find that Connellsville was once known as the "Coke Capital of the World". I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I had no idea what this meant. I knew that Coca-Cola was headquartered in Atlanta, and I figured that Connellsville was not some sort of drug capital, but I couldn't for the life of me think of any other sort of coke. Apparently, coke is a type of fuel that is made from coal. You knew that? I did not. I also had the chance to check out a Keystone Ice Miners during their historic final season in the NAHL, so that was exciting.

I spent the next night in a place that George Washington once called "as fine a land as I have ever seen, a great deal of rich meadow; it is well watered and has a valuable mill seat." He then drew up plans for the streets of that town to be laid out in the shape of a wagon-wheel. That town was Perryopolis, PA. In 2011, it was even named one of the top 50 cleanest towns in Pennsylvania!

Perryopolis, PA (see Washington's wagon-wheel?)

Finally, on March 10th I spent the night in West Newton, PA. West Newton is the hometown of Ray Luzier, who has been the drummer for Korn and David Lee Roth (possibly the strangest combination of artists to be the drummer for, ever).

E - Confluence, PA
F - Connellsville, PA
G - Perryopolis, PA
H - West Newton, PA

Real life: Admittedly, this post was a bit of a mail-in, but I had a lot of days to cover, and didn't have very much to work with in the boonies of Pennsylvania. I've also been pretty busy, which has caused me to fall behind in my riding as well as my writing. The main culprit was a work trip to Kansas City, MO. If your travels take you there, be sure to check out Novel for dinner and The Ship for drinks. You will not be disappointed. Other factors included a colonoscopy (TMI?) and coming in third place in the Chiditarod. However, I've made up some miles over the last few days as Chicago's weather has started to turn, allowing me to leisurely pile on some extra miles. Mileage: February 27th - 13.2 miles, February 28th - 1.3 miles, March 1st - 0 miles, March 2nd - 13.2 miles, March 3rd - 1.8 miles, March 4th-7th - 0 miles, March 8th - 24.1 miles (best of the year), March 9th - 14.2 miles, March 10th - 14.6 miles. Total annual mileage: 623.8 miles (63.4 miles behind target pace).

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Running into Rosie (February 25th - February 26th)


On February 25th, I reached the town limits of Meyersdale, PA and then on February 26th I continued through town toward Garrett, PA. On my way, I ran into a friend. Here is her account of our meeting:

I was driving down Deal Road early Thursday morning when all of a sudden, an opossum jumped out in front of my car! Instead of doing what my dad taught me and just running the damn thing over, I swerved my car to avoid killing the sweet animal. Right as I swerved, I caught a glimpse of a biker in my rearview mirror and just missed slamming into that poor man! Luckily, he fell into the grass beside the road, but I felt terrible! I instantly pulled over and stopped my car so I could go help this scruffy looking stranger. He lay moaning on the grass, still attached to his bike because he had those shoes that locked into the pedals of the bike. I rushed over and said “Are you ok??” He quietly inspected himself to see if anything was broken and slowly peeled off his helmet. Once he slipped his feet out of the pedals and swung his leg over the bike, he laid flat on his back and stared up at the Meyersdale sky. “Should I call an ambulance?” I begged.
“No,” he replied. “Ill be fine. I just need a minute.” It was at that moment, I realized I knew this person! This was my old KanJam partner, Stephen Garvey! I hadn’t seen this fellow in years!
“Garvey?! Is that you?!” I yelled.
“Huh? Holy Moly….Rosie? I didn’t know you lived here!” He replied.
“Yea! I moved here after getting my dream job at the Second National Bank of Meyersdale. It’s a really sweet town. What are you doing here?”

Rosie, standing in front of Second National Bank

“I am biking across America.” He said, still laying flat on his back.
“That’s crazy man. I’m really sorry I made you crash. Can I help you up?”
“Sure.” He said, wincing a little as he got up.
“Should we take you to a hospital?”
“No, I’m ok, just needed a minute,” He responded. I couldn’t believe I was seeing my old buddy, and that I almost killed him! It was just like old times. Reminded me of all the shenanigans we used to get into while we were playing the professional KanJam circuit. He was a beast with a Frisbee and a can. No one ever beat us and we had the trophies to prove it.
“Well hey, if you’re feeling alright, how about I show you around a little? We could go to the Meyersdale Wind Farm. It’s really something.”

He told me that as fun as that sounded, he had a schedule to stick to and had to keep on biking. I said ok, and we hugged goodbye. I watched as my old friend rode off into the distance. I couldn’t wait to get home and tell my cats all about it.

It truly was a pleasure to run into an old friend, but I had some riding left to do if I was to make it to Garrett that day.  

Real life: February 25th - 10.4 miles, February 26th - 10.4 miles. Total Annual Mileage: 541.4 miles (26.3 miles behind target pace).

Notes: Thank you to Rosie Moan for being the first guest writer on the blog. If you are interested in writing a guest entry, please feel free to email me at stephen.c.garvey.82@gmail.com. Also, if you're interested in getting an email whenever a new blog is posted, you can enter your address in the Follow By Email bar on the right side of the page.